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Lina Inverse

Alias : "The Bandit/Robber Killer," "The Dragon-Spooker," "The Infamous Lina Inverse," "The Walking Force of Destruction," "The Natural Enemy of all Who Live," Nina, Liilii, Lily.

Looks : Ummmm....  There seems to be more than one Lina, looks-wise.  Most of the time she looks pretty much as people describe her -- a mean, monstrous-looking, flat-chested, beanpole.  Occasionally, she can actually look somewhat good -- albeit still a flat-chested beanpole.  The characters all talk about that wedding dress (the fake wedding to Hallas), but I think she looked better in that blue evening gown (same episode).  There are quite a few fans who actually rate her ABOVE Amelia in looks, except there aren't that many Lina web-shrines;  Zelgadis wins that prize.  Obviously, there has to be SOMETHING attractive about her or Gourry wouldn't fall for her -- he's nowhere near THAT stupid.

Personality : A milder version of an anti-hero.  She's not as ruthless as the American comic-book definition of anti-hero (if anything, the Lina-tachi is usually NOT overpowering).  Bad-tempered, possessive, vengeful, vindictive, spiteful, dishonest, steals riches, ruthless, tricks people, and basically thinks only of money, food, and learning new powerful spells.  Fundamentally, though, she's still good-natured and well-intentioned on the whole.  If that side were seen more frequently, though, I think Slayers would become a lot more boring.  To quote Gourry-sama, "changes emotions at the drop of a hat...  But, she's not ALL bad."

Cooking : Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Yeah, right.  She just does nothing but eat out or cook fish over a fire.  If you can live with fish everyday or you can take the "jet-setter" lifestyle of daily restaurant trips, then feel free.  But if you're hoping for home-cooked meals and a cup of coffee every morning, just look away.  It also looks as if she wouldn't even consider trying.  You can also expect that you will go hungry for days at a stretch every so often until you can afford to eat out again.

Fighting Skills : Hand-to-hand -- sub-par for the scale of characters...  She can easily beat the crap out of any bandits and is remarkably strong for someone so utterly skinny.  In general, though, the Lina-tachi faces villains who stand far above that.  Her swordsmanship leaves much to be desired, but she's beaten inexperienced swordsmen and careless fighters with it.  Doesn't compare to Zelgadis or Gourry.  Ultimately, she has to depend on her magic.  Since she's trained in Black Magic -- which is fundamentally a combat class -- that makes her a great fighter in that sense.  Whole lot of good it does against really powerful Mazoku, but it usually serves well.

Special Abilities : Aside from magic?  well.....  Stuffing down enormous quantities of food and remaining hungry, not to mention remaining a veritable stick figure.  Shouting and screaming and running wildly without getting tired or losing her voice.  Also a decent waitress according to TRY, although I think she'd prefer to be on the receiving end of that ^_^.

Economics : Oh, well... She is highly crass, and knows what money can buy and does a great deal to try and get out of paying too much.  She constantly steals treasures from bandit gangs that she rubs out, but that's basically her one and only source of income.  Ummm, and it is frequently squandered in one way or another (usually constant dining out on enormous amounts of food) before she runs across another gang of bandits.

Competition : Gourry, Gourry, Gourry...  Lots of luck here.  Lina may not admit it, but she may just as well be permanently affixed to Gourry like some kind of barnacle.  That's what NEXT was all about, people.  Akin to not missing something until it's gone -- and believe me, if Gourry were ever to even seem to potentially have the chance to possibly be out of her life, then boy, would she miss him.

In-laws : Well, we know she has a family in Zephilia, although there's no mention if any of them are even alive.  The only known relative that is unquestionably living is her elder sister, Luna Inverse.  Luna unconditionally scares the hell out of Lina, but usually doesn't interfere except to assign some major life-or-death mission unto her from time to time.

Sex : You're kidding, right?  She understands sex, all right, and certainly is well aware of the more kinky things, but so far -- no one gets NEAR her.  And it's not always a conscious thing on her part.  If you don't get her to a more than well-prepared state, she'll probably fire a Burst Rondo or a Dill Brand on you by sheer reflex.  If you can get past that part, then I think you can expect her to be a fairly controlling figure.  She's just that self-centered.

Overall : A whole lot of patience and a whole lot of money is involved with this girl.  You can forget about retirement.  Her lack of emotional stability, although not an extreme case (in that she's still sane), can be a real problem.  If you play your cards JU-U-U-ST right, then there's a ray of hope that it comes out as a good choice.  You're better off with lower-maintenace women like Amelia or Sylphiel.  Even Filia is somewhat acceptable by comparison -- she only has instability.


Written by C.P.I. / ASMiNC directly to HTML.

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