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Minnie May Hopkins

Looks: With her shoulder length blond hair, May Hopkins is the picture of a cute girl of around 12 or 13 just beginning to develop into a woman; fact is, she is 18 and the look is intentional. A good look into her jade green eyes will tell you that she has been through far more than her pre-pubesent form implies.

Brains: Fairly bright and very street smart, although she lets her emotions get in the way of her judgement at all the wrong times. She definitely has an exceptional ability to learn as demonstrated by her expertise in two unrelated specialized areas of knowledge, namely explosives and the *ahem* amorous arts. For some reason however, subtly frequently seems beyond her :)

Personality: Fairly hard to pin down. May frequently acts as childish as she looks but the bulk of this is probably a habitual act as she grows mature and insightful when confronted with extremely serious situations and sometimes seems as jaded as someone twice her age. She is also shortsighted, cocky, hot-headed, and stubborn as the proberbial mule; which often causes friction between herself and her more level-headed and cautious teammate.

Home Economics: Apparently decent. She is definitely a compitent and eager cook, but I do not know how much cleaning May does in the home she and Rally share. I suspect her personal space (read: bomb workshop) would seem fairly cluttered at first glance, however I'd advise against touching _anything_ for more than one reason.

Combat Skills: Hand to hand, she's pathetic. Having little formal training, she simply lacks the mass to to survive a fistfight with a normal sized adult although the element of suprise is on her side. Unfortunately for her opponents, she usually has at least 4 hand grenades of several types and various tools of her trade in her ever-present jacket along with a small supply of plastique in a hidden compartment in her shoe and knows how to use them all _extremely_ well.

Special Abilities: In addition to being utterly obsessed with explosives, May Hoskins wields extraordinary skill in the creation, disarming, modifying, and use of everything fom Claymores to C-4. She has also been known to detect some bombs by smell alone and create small ones with little more than a spice rack and light fixture. As for her other specialty, suffice it to say she was the among the most popular employees in the Chinatown brothel where she once worked and (as a recent undercover job proved) she has yet to lose her touch ;)

Competition: Ken Taki. I'll be honest, I know zilch about him aside from the fact that he was her teacher and lover some years back and is currently on the run. However May believes him to be alive and has proven quite willing to go to war with gun-runners alone in order to insure his safety. I'd advise you to find proof of his demise if you want any real chance with her.

In Laws: She was on the street at around age 12 which means that her parents are either dead or not on speaking terms with her, which leaves Rally Vincent. While basically a friendly and kind-hearted soul, Rally is often rather overprotective of her partner/housemate sometimes and could get very ugly if she thinks you'll hurt her.

Children: Due to the various potions she aquired in chinatown to stunt her physical development (the effects of which seem permanent), I have doubts that May is even fertile. If you do have children it would be wise to convince her to seek childrearing advice from competent parents (yours, if applicable), as she may have had an unpleasant upbringing. It must also be remembered that May is a bounty hunder, so of course this advice is only applicable if she avoids getting shot, blown up, dismembered....

Finances: Pretty good. Assuming her business relationship with Rally (both gun store and bounty hunting) goes up in smoke, May would have serous trouble in the conventional job market due to her appearant age. However, if her reputation for explosive expertese is half as good as she deserves she should have little trouble getting work in any demolition company or bomb squad in or around Chicago. She also has the skill and connections to get work in any brothel in the area, but would probably avoid this for the sake of your comfort and feelings.

Sex: Oh My! Assuming you can deal with her rather childlike body (yup, Kenny had a Lolita Complex), May will prove to be an extraordinary lover. While her stint in the brothel did little if anything to inhibit her enjoyment of sex, it gave her more experience in pleasing men than most women ever gain and she will use those skills with even more enthusiasm for one whom she genuinely cares for. Any attempt on your part to impress her in bed would be an exercise in futility so simply be advised to cuddle her afterwards.

Overall: Face facts, Minnie May probably does not fit your mothers image of an ideal daughter in law. However if you can come to terms with her body, her past, and her very dangerous current lifestyle you will find a devoted and loyal companion and lover for as long as you both survive (exactly how long that is may prove another story).


Written by: H. Torrance Griffin
Converted to HTML by: Jim Franks

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