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Classic Lines from...

(noted either for hilarity or being memorable in general... From dubs, subs, and manga)

I make no claim that all these lines are accurate word-for-word... But I do guarantee that you won't miss the point of what the characters are saying.  It's the moment, not just the words.  Many of the lines are word-for-word accurate, but not every one.  You'll get what the big deal's about in any case.

Dragonball Z

        ... (dub)
        Nappa : The green one's from Namek, isn't he?
        Vegeta : Yep, he's from Namek, all right -- no wonder Raditz had such a hard time with him and Kakarot.
        Piccolo : I'm an ALIEN!
        Krillin : Piccolo ! -- I didn't know you were from outer space... It makes sense!
        Gohan : WOW, Piccolo!  Is that true?
        Vegeta : You didn't know?  How surprising!  The green skin and pointy ears ARE a dead giveaway.

I agree with Vegeta -- How couldn't he know?  Even afterwards he "feels in his heart" that it's true...

        ... (dub)
        Gohan : Stop it, you big bully!  I'm not running away!  You don't scare me anymore!  I just have to use the bathroom if that's all right with YOU, that is...  you could use a shower yourself.
        Nappa : (sarcastically) Huh?  What's that?  Speak up!
        Gohan : (seething)
        Nappa : Well?...
        Gohan : Grrr... I said you smell LIKE TOENAIL!!!!!!

Ummm... What does that mean?  What the devil does "toenail" smell like, anyway?

        ... (dub)
        Nappa : So it's YOU!! Why, you low-down dirty rotten back-biting Namek!  <blah, blah, blah>  You'll pay for shooting me from behind.
        Piccolo : O-ooh... I thought that was your FACE!
        Nappa : WHAT?! aaaaah, yo-o-o-o-uuuu....
        Vegeta : <hearty laugh> They're roughing you up in there, Nappa -- what a gas!

Hoo-hoo!!  Piccolo can be funny!  Even Vegeta loved it!  How about that?...

        ... (dub)
        <Piccolo's death scene>
        Piccolo : Get 'em, Gohan... <dies>
        Gohan : Oh, no!  NO!  NO-O-O-O-O!!!!
        (cuts to Kami's lookout)
        Kami : Goodbye, Popo... Remember... <dies>
        Mr. Popo : Kami-san!!!  KAMI-SAN!!!

I just loved this whole scene -- Piccolo really shows his soft spot for Gohan.  The quality of the animation went up a couple of notches... And Kami is actually called "Kami-san" (Since "san" is more understood than "sama"... well)

        ... (dub)
        (Nappa leaps out from a pile of rocks he was buried under and fumes with anger because Goku is beating him...)
        Vegeta : Nappa!! That's enough... CA-A-ALM DOWN!!  How do you expect to win when you're so mad, you can't see straight?!?!?!! Now, SETTLE DOWN! ... USE YOUR HEAD!!!

Hmm?  What happened to all that Super Saiya-jin stuff?  Anger releases Gohan's hidden power... even before all the SSJ stuff.  Ah, well.

        ... (dub)
        Vegeta : ... With Nappa gone, I could use a good man.  There's no one in the universe who could touch us!  We could rule the universe and you could have anything you wanted.  Nothing would be out of our reach.  Well... What do you say, Kakarot?
        Goku : Listen, I've got everything I want right here!  All I need is my ... family.  Besides, I've seen how you treat your partners -- there's not a lot of JOB SECURITY...

Well, when you hear the actual line, you notice that Goku kinda hesitated to say "family."  Hmmmmmmm...

        ... (dub)
        Vegeta : Funny, I just noticed that someone has conveniently removed the Moon...  Well, it doesn't matter -- we have our ways.  As a matter of fact, it was your genius father who invented this little technique!
        Goku : My ... father???
        Vegeta : We were running into some radical weaponry on Rygal-7, and things were looking pretty grim until your father did this... <Sound effect -- Vegeta forms ball> ... Your father was an average fighter, Kakarot... but he was A BRILLIANT SCIENTIST!!

This should sound pretty familiar to you fan-fic readers out there!!  "average fighter, brilliant scientist" thing...  I know it wasn't really GOKU's father in the fan-fic, but it's still the same idea.  But the "Rygal-7" just sounds a TAD trite.

        ... (dub)
        In the 3rd Movie (Tree of Might), when Turles forces Gohan to transform into the Oozaru...
        Goku : (rushes toward Gohan) (yells) What have you DONE TO MY SON?!?!!
        But in the Uncut, Unedited version of the dub...
        Goku : (rushes toward Gohan) (yells) DON'T LOOK, GOHAN!!

Ooooookay... Are you telling me that Goku's awareness of the Oozaru(were-monkey) had to be edited out?

        ... (dub)
        Vegeta : All right, kid -- time to wake up and smell the coffee... SLEEPYHE-E-EAD!  (prepares to blast Gohan)
        Yajirobe : BANZAI!!!!!!!  (cuts Vegeta in the back)...
        Vegeta : Ah-Ah-Ah... Y-you... You almost cut through my ARMOR! (collapses).
        Yajirobe : (gets up, laughs) I won!!!  I WON, I WON, I WON! (laughs) You lost, you lost, you lo-o-o-st!  Ha-HA!  Took him DOWN -- don't you understand?  It's not possible for you to win over the Great Yajirobe, see??!!
        <Vegeta gets up and pants for a while>
        Vegeta : What were YOU SAYING??!??!??
        <Yajirobe tries to cut him again, but just keeps missing... He falls down and crawls back>
        Yajirobe : Uuuuh... I'm sorry, did that hurt?  I didn't mean to -- that is, well, you see -- I really respect you and all, and I was kinda hoping we could be friends or something so -- oof! <Vegeta punts him>

Well, first thing -- if he ALMOST cut through your armor, then why did you go out like a light for a while there?  Secondly -- ALL RIGHT, VEGETA!!  It's about TIME someone treated Yajirobe like the dirt he is!!
        To add to the glory of that....

        ... (dub)
        Krillin : Psst... Hey, Goku.  You should've seen Yajirobe fight! (snickers)
        Yajirobe : Grrrrrr...
        Krillin : Check this!!! -- (sarcastic trembling) Oh, Mr. Vegeta!! I've always ADMIRED you!!  I was hoping we could be friends!!! -- he actually said that... he-he.
        Yajirobe : D-ooohh, It was STRATEGY!!!  I was trying LURE him OFF GUARD!!!
        (group laughs...)

Oh, yes -- He deserved that BIG TIME!!!

        ... (dub)
        <Gohan kicks Dodoria into a Namek house... as Dodoria gets up...>
        Gohan : Let's RUMBLE, ya' big old pig piece of PUTTY!
        Dodoria : Anytime, runt...

OK... I have to ask... What is a "pig piece of putty?"

        ... (dub)
        <Krillin flying back w/ Dragonball after Guru(Saichorou) releases his hidden power>
        Krillin : Wow-WEE! Woo-HOO!  With my new power, I betcha Gohan's gonna be TOTALLY IMPRESSED!
        <Even more so... another line later on in that same trip back to camp>
        Krillin : Oh, YEAH!! Now I'm JAMMIN'!!!

Okay, chestnut boy -- don't try to be TOO hip, now.

        ... (dub)
        <During regular Goku vs. Freeza>
        Ginyu (In Bulma's body) : Oh, by the way -- remind me to KILL you guys later!!
        Gohan : Hmm?
        Ginyu : Oh... uhhh...  (nervous laugh...)
        Krillin : She just threatened us.  I guess that means she's back to normal.

Doncha just LOVE Krillin's comments on everything??

        ... (sub)
        <After Goku threw the big Genki-dama at Freeza>
        Krillin : OH, NO-O-O!!!   (pause, Gohan "faints")  I totally forgot about something ... Bulma.
        Goku : Don't SCARE me like that!  I thought that Freeza was still alive.
        Krillin : Sometimes she's even more scarier than Freeza...

Bulma scarier than Freeza?????  Boy, what the hell are you thinking?

        ... (sub)
        <Chi-chi crashes Mutenroshi-sama's party looking for Gohan>
        Maron : I'm very sorry, Obasan (old lady), but I really don't know what a 'Gohan' is.
        Chi-chi : O... "Obasan"?  You called me "Obasan"?
        Maron : If that's what you heard, then I'm sorry.  Go away, Obasan.  We're all having a good time, and you won't find a kid like you describe here.
        Chi-chi : I CAN'T FORGIVE YOU!! (powers up, tremendously -- looks a lot like Kai-oh-ken)  For a young and beautiful woman like me to be called "Obasan" is unforgiveable!!
        Mutenroshi : Chi-chi-san, don't get so upset...  she's just...
        Chi-chi : Out of my way!!
        (Krillin drags Maron away..)
        Maron : Ah, Kurin-chan!
        Krillin : Maron-chan, this way...
        Maron : Aw, but the nice Obasan wants to show us something!
        (Everybody tries to hold off Chi-chi w/ considerable difficulty.  Yes, even Yamcha isn't capable of holding her off)
        Krillin : Maron-chan, you mustn't upset her like that!
        Maron : Oh?  Why?
        Krillin : ummm...  Because she's the Super Saiya-jin.  Even Goku's afraid of her.  She's the most powerful woman in the universe.

LOL.  LOL.  LOL.  Perfect!  Krillin, ever the jester!  Chi-chi-san wa Densetsu no Supaa Saiya-jin desu.

        ... (sub)
        <Goku has just gotten over his heart problem and teleported to Yamcha's ship>
        Krillin : Yeah he'd appear just like that.  eh?
        Goku : Yo, Kuririn (Krillin).
        Krillin : Waaaaaaah!! (crashes through ship)  Goku!!!  I missed you!!!
        (Back inside, w/ ship walls patched up)
        Krillin : Goku, are you really okay?
        Goku : Yep, I'm back 100%, although I feel a little hungry.
        Krillin : Hungry...  That's so like you.
        (Gohan starts to cry, Goku pats him)
        Gohan : (happy yell) OTOOSAN!!!  (father)
        (Goku stares at Piccolo for a few seconds)
        Goku : Kamicolo-sama!
        Yamcha : Nani?
        (All laugh...)
        Piccolo : Don't combine the names!  I'm mostly Piccolo, so call me Piccolo.

        ... (sub)  Movie #9 ending...
        Kaio-sama : You know, Goku...  What you did wasn't really allowed.
        Goku : Kaio-sama, did I do something wrong?
        Kaio-sama : Well, I don't know.  I think it happened while I was blinking.
        (group laugh)

Boy, that's pretty nice that he let's him get away with stuff like that.  I wish all the gods were so lenient.

        ... (sub)
        <Jewelry store robbery>
        Robber #1 : Majin Buu?  Who's that?  Well, you'd better not show him because one bullet from me and he's dead!
        Robber #2 : Uuuuuh, big brother...
        Buu : (spits out jewels) Tastes bad.
        Robber #1 : (sees Buu as he turns around) -- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
        Buu : Oh!  You're a nice man... you gave me money for the ice cream.
        Robber #1 : AAAAAAAAH!  Don't come near me!  Don't come near me!  (shoots Buu)
        (bullet penetrates, but Buu just pops it out)
        Buu : Here, I'm returning this to you.  (flicks bullet back faster than it came out of the gun)
        Chief : Those were gunshots just now!  We can't wait any longer!
        Gohan : CHIEF!!
        Chief : Oh, it's the Great Saiyans!
        Gohan : Let US handle this.
        Chief : It's all yours...
        (Gohan and Videl do their usual intro, and stop right after the roll call... robbers walk right past them to the cops.)
        Robbers : I'm sorry...  We surrender.
        (Gohan and Videl "faint")
        Great Saiyans : (coy chuckles)
        Bulma : (walks out w/ Buu, laughs)... Nice?
        Great Saiyans : (louder coy chuckles)

This is just one of the funniest scenes... the facial expressions really do it for me.

Ronin Warriors

Being that I've only seen RW and not YST, all these lines are from the dub...

        <1st episode... Ryo and WhiteBlaze are in the middle of the city causing a media panic>
        Newscaster : The streets of downtown are in a frenzy because of the appearance of a young boy and a large white tiger with him... hehe... I'm pretty sure it's not Siegfried & Roy.

        Ryo : You seem to know a lot about The Dynasty... Who did you say you were again?
        Mia : Mia Koji -- I'm an assistant at Shinsei University where I teach all about mythology and legends... Stuff our parents thought help us out in the REAL world.

What kind of parents think that sort of stuff helps out in the real world?  Important to learn -- okay -- fine literature and all, but real world applique?

        <Ryo is about to go underwater to revive Cye>
        Yuli : And if you need any help, Ryo... I'm here to back you up!!
        <WhiteBlaze roars at Yuli...>
        Yuli : uuuh... And of course, WhiteBlaze'll help, too.

        <Ronins see Saberstryke's pet, BlackBlaze for the first time -- it's night so...>
        Rowen : A black tiger??!
        Sage : Ah, man... He's so dark I can barely see him!

You can barely see him?  What about that armor he's wearing? It's pretty shiny and silvery!!!  And you, Sage, are supposed to be the warrior of light!!  Can't you just make your sword glow or something?

        <Kento finishes explaining his dream to Yuli... other Ronins say they're leaving to figure their's out.
          Kento's dream, BTW, involved destroying a sand dune based on what the Ancient said to him...>
        Kento : Hold on guys... (finishes off milk)  I'm coming along, too!
        Cye : What for?  You can already beat up sand dunes.
        Rowen : Yeah, those sand dunes are pretty tough, though...
        Kento : Aw, c'mon, guys!  I still haven't figured out my dream yet.  (runs after the other Ronins)
        Yuli : Huh?  That's not what you said earlier.
        Kento : Uuuh... Well, I do know SOME stuff. Hey, wait up, guys!
        Cye : Kento, are you SURE you didn't sleepwalk last night?
        Kento : Hey... you guys aren't makin' fun of me, are you?

Well, this one's just loaded... even written out, you can pretty much guess the tone of voices for line.

        <Lady Kayura appears on the water -- first time she's seen outside of the shade>
        Rowen : Lady Kayura!! She's a GIRL!!
        Ryo : Oh, man!  You got THAT right...

As if you couldn't guess she's a girl from the name "LADY Kayura"... Obviously, to those who are familiar with the show, they're surprised that Kayura is a HUMAN girl...  But the way Rowen says "She's a GIRL" -- he just sounds like one of those little boys at that age where they're repulsed by girls.  And Ryo -- please don't tell me you've developed an infatuation with a villainess!!

        <Anubis uses the Ancient's staff to get Ryo into the Inferno Armor>
        Kayura : The White Armor??  NO!!  How could the monk have done this?
        Ryo : (attack cry) -- Rage of INFERNO!!!!!
        Kayura : (meekly) I think I'd better go now...  (escapes smiling)

Boy, she's awfully calm for someone who facing an attack from the invincible(so far) White Armor of Inferno...

        <Fight right after Kayura find Anubis -- she still thinks he's the Ancient>
        Anubis : You are blind to Talpa's fearsome power, but you need not choose this path.
        Kayura : Is that so?  YOU are working to bring down the Evil Dynasty.  You must know that only the most fearsome will survive.  (battle cry) -- Feel the scream from my STARLIGHT SWORDS!!
        Anubis : Young lady, stars shine only in the sky...
        Kayura : Hmmmmmm...
        Anubis : ... and stars which fall to Earth never shine again.

All right, show of hands -- Who thinks Anubis is being overly philosophical about this whole thing?

        Ryo : Yeah, we're GONNA pay Talpa a visit, but it's gonna be on OUR terms.
        Kayura : Oh, is that so, Ronin Warriors?  Well, remember to check your armor at the gate... Because you can check in to The Dynasty Hotel, but you can NEVER check out.  (attacks)
        Ryo : (while evading blast) I'll pack my toothbrush!!

Whoa, Kayura shows that she, too has some wit.  A lot more than Rowen with his "One good point deserves another..."

        <Kayura tries to fend off an attack from WhiteBlaze, but fails>
        Kayura : Ah... OH!! He scratched me!  Horrible BEAST...
        Ryo : Hey, thanks a lot, WhiteBlaze.
        Kayura : That beast will pay for that... and you will pay along with him.  (prepares an attack)

She gets THAT upset over a little scratch??!

        <Badamon has resorted to a full possession of Lady Kayura and has trapped the Ronins and Warlords>
        Kento : Holy split personality!  Badamon has completely wigged out Lady Kayura!
        Ryo : Well... THAT explains a lot of things.

"Holy split personality"???!???  He's gone from Kento of the Hardrock to the Boy Wonder... or maybe Casey Kasem wrote the lines.  Holy Weird Writing Thing, Batman!!!

        <continuing from that same point...>
        Anubis : Dark Warlords, do you not see that the Dynasty is only using you for your armor?
        Sekhmet : You LIE!
        Kayura/Badamon : (laughs)
        Cale : Why are you laughing?
        Kayura/Badamon : He's right.  You are all beginning to outlive your usefulness to me...
        Sekhmet : But what do you ME-E-E-EAN??!?!
        Dais : I knew we could not trust you!

Okay... Nice reaction, O Warlord of Venom -- "But what do you mean?"  Dais knew Badamon couldn't be trusted?  Since when?  Is that why he's fighting alongside him?  Is that why he's always kept believing that Anubis is just feeding them lies?  Makes sense...

        <After Anubis dies to free Kayura from Badamon's possession...>
        Talpa : BLAST!!  Anubis found a way to thwart my plan for her.  He has freed Lady Kayura from your control -- and YOU ALLOWED THIS TO HAPPEN?!!??!
        Badamon : Forgive me, my lord.  If he had not sacrificed himself...

Wait a minute... self-sacrifice is the way to break a spirit possession?  Sure... "If he didn't die, we'd still have the girl under our control."

Tenchi Muyo... (from various Tenchiverses)

        ... (Tenchi OAV dub)
        <Nobuyuki hammers on his thumb>
        Yosho : I told you to be careful...  <Such irony : Yosho hammers on his thumb>
        Tenchi : Boneheads.
        Yosho : Hey Tenchi -- LOOK!
        Tenchi : Hmm?  <Tenchi hammers on HIS thumb>
        Yosho : NOW, who's a bonehead?

        ... (Tenchi OAV dub)
        <Washu giving Tenchi a lil' medical exam>
        Tenchi : uuuuuuh... Trivial question -- but, did REALLY need to take my clothes off?
        Washu : (laughs) NO... (laughs)
        Tenchi : * d-ohhhhh, I knew it *

        ... (Tenchi OAV dub)
        Dr. Clay : There's a place I would like to take you.  There is someone who would like to see you.
        Washu : Ooh...  Little girls turn you on, huh?
        Dr. Clay : WHAAAAAAT?!?!!
        Washu : I knew it!  You're going to take to some secret club and do all sorts of things to my young and beautiful body!  Oh MY!  OH MY!  Oh, and at the very end, you're going to do something positively UNSPEAKABLE!  He-he.  Old age has such a way of distorting the way you express your love.
        Dr. Clay : I SAID NO SUCH THINGS!
        Washu : I appreciate your feelings, really I do...  But why can't you just see that I'm in love with somebody else?
        Dr. Clay : Now Washu, CUT THAT OUT!!!  Besides, why would I want something when I can't tell the front from the back?
        Washu : Grrr.... (Unbuttons blouse)Take a look, YOU JERK!!!
        Dr. Clay : No-o-ow, STOP THAT!  I don't want to see you; The one who wants to see you is Lady Tokimi!
        Washu : Lady...  Tokimi?
        Dr. Clay : (chuckle) Hm.  Surprised, Washu?
        Washu : Yeah, I'm surprised.  It's the first time I ever heard you call anybody by a title.

Washu is always the grand crack-up!  Ya' gotta love her.  ^_^

        ... (Tenchi OAV dub)
        Washu : Lady Funaho... Shall we?
        Funaho : Excuse me, Washu.  Could you call me "LITTLE Funaho"?  I'd like that.
        Washu : ugh.  I can't believe this.  Mihoshi even wrote THAT in her report???

Calm as she is, Funaho can really be funny.  It also points out just how much of a pain Mihoshi can turn out to be.

        ... (Tenchi OAV dub)
        Asuza : Just you wait -- Seiryo will beat him in less than a minute!
        Misaki : So... you're betting on Seiryo, then?  I bet 50,000 yen on Tenchi!  How 'bout you, sis?
        Funaho : I am betting on Tenchi, as well.
        Sasami : Yay!! He's gonna win!
        Ryo-ohki : Me-OW!
        Aeka : I simply must wager on Lord Tenchi.
        Ryoko : Tenchi for sure...
        Funaho : What about YOU, Washu?
        Washu : hmmm...  I'm gonna have to bet on Mihoshi.  yeah.

Well...  First time you see it, you just have to wonder where that whole Mihoshi thing comes in.  Guess her crashes are a regular thing.  No wonder Tenchi survived it.

        ... (Tenchi TV dub).
        Nobuyuki : O-o-o-oh... You have been through a great hardship, young lady from outer space.
        Yosho : Oh, such distress...
        Tenchi : HUH??????
        Nobuyuki : Tenchi -- don't just sit there!  Why don't you offer her some nice candy or something?
        Tenchi : WAIT A MINUTE!!  You don't mean to tell me you believe her ridiculous story!
        Nobuyuki : I find HER story much more believable than the story of YOU picking up such a pretty girl.
        Tenchi : * Oh, I see... *

Well, do I have to spell out why I like this one??  The way Tenchi says "Oh, I see" is just hilarious...

        ... (Tenchi TV dub)
        <Tenchi's disguised as a girl (names himself Tenko) and passes through a scanner>
        Guard : Everything looks all right;  But did you know your frame happens to be very masculine?
        Tenchi/Tenko : Uuuuh...  Well... I, uh...  I have a father who's a man.

That really says a lot, doesn't it Tenko?  ^_^

        ... (Shin Tenchi dub)
        <Washu's spy devices are sending screwed up transmissions>
        Spy #1 : Tenchi's moving a large piece of furniture up the stairs of his school.
        Spy #2 : Tenchi's begun moving the stairs of his school so he climb up a large piece of furniture.
        Spy #3 : Tenchi's climbing up a mountain so he can find the land of very large furniture.  I can't imagine why.
        Spy #4 : Tenchi's on top of  a mountain wondering why.
        Spy #5 : Tenchi's on top of some big mountaintop probably communin' with nature or something lame like that...
        Spy #6 : Tenchi... Tenchi's about to be pushed off a cliff by a cow and a hippopotamus... and the fall will make him lame.
        Spy #7(final) : A cow and a hippo are about to push Tenchi off a cliff.  (brings up fabricated image)
        (Everybody screams watching the screen)
        Ryoko : My god -- What's he doing up there?
        Aeka : Where did he find a HIPPO in Japan?

The dangers of long distance transmissions through multiple devices.

        ... (Shin Tenchi dub)
        <Another screwed up transmission goes from Tenchi blocking a soccer ball to Tenchi the demon being egged>
        Ryoko : What IS this??!  Washu, are you just trying to mess with my mind???!?
        Washu : No, your mind doesn't really need MY help...

        ... (Shin Tenchi dub)
        Sakuya : WOW, this so SUPER!!  They're real sorcerers and they're your friends?
        Tenchi : uuuuh... Oh, yeah.  Well, you see;  They're from a secret group called the "Monster-Busters"!  (laughs)
        Ryoko & Aeka : Monster-Busters???!?!???
        Sakuya : Wow, this is great!  Oh, let me introduce myself... My name is Sakuya Kumashiro.  Thank you for saving me.  (looks @ Ryoko) You must be the number one Monster-Buster.  (looks @ Aeka)  And you must be number 2!  Can I have your autographs?
        Ryoko : AAAAAH!  What is WITH this girl?
        Aeka : Tenchi finds the weird ones...

Jeez, just how outgoing IS this Sakuya?  "Tenchi finds the weird ones", huh?... Not like you two?

        ... (Tenchi in Love dub)
        Tenchi : ... Have you two found anything unusual?  Anything at all, no matter how unimportant it might seem to you.
        Mihoshi : Huh?  I have something!
        Tenchi : Yeah?  What is it?
        Mihoshi : You know that fried little dish they usually serve at lunch?  Well, it's usually the first thing to be sold out but TODAY, there were... mmmmmm ... three;  There were three pieces left.  I think that's pretty weird -- don't you?
        Tenchi : (pauses)  Why me?
        Aeka : We should have known.  Another day : Another inane observation...

If stupid stuff like this is a consistent thing, why do you even put up with her?  Washu should have just left Mihoshi behind.

Ranma 1/2

        ... (OAV dub -- Akane to Remember...)
        Ranma : Yeah, whatever ;  but everybody's worried about you at home, so let's go.
        Akane : Not yet.  I still have tonight's dinner to make.
        Ranma : *sigh*  And you don't think that's a little weird?  Like anyone would WANNA eat your toxic stew?
        Akane : Try it.
        Ranma : uh... Did you...?
        Akane : Mm-hmm.  (laughs)
        Ranma : (eats)  *gasp*  THIS IS...  THIS IS...  It's NORMAL!  Maybe... even... tasty.
        Akane : But it's about more than just cooking, Ranma.
        Ranma : All those animals... People eating Akane's cooking and liking it... Something VERY WEIRD is happening here.

        ... (OAV dub -- Faster Kasumi...)
        Akane(possessed) : The disrespectful one...  Where is he?
        Nabiki : Disrespectful?  In what way?
        Kasumi : If you mean Ranma -- he went out looking for you, Akane.

Real nice... "Disrespectful" and the first name to come to mind is "Ranma"

        ... (Manga -- "Training Meals")
        Cologne : I want to see you shatter this boulder.
        Ryoga : Is that all?  He-he... And here I was wondering what arduous training you'd put me through.
        Cologne : Mighty confident, aren't we?
        Ryoga : YES!!!  (breaks boulder)  How's that?
        Cologne : Fine...  Except I didn't say split it.  I said I wanted to see you shatter it.  Like this -- (performs Bakusai Tenketsu -- Ryoga's ultimate trademark... Boulder shatters into pebbles)
        Cologne : (long pause)  Care to learn that trick?
        Ryoga : And I thought nothing about you could shock me more than your FACE.

More signs of why everyone loves Ryoga.  :)

        ... (Manga -- "Breaking Point")
        Akane : Oh, poor Ryoga...
        Cologne : wah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!  Tossed aside by your girl, eh, boy?
        Ranma : WAH HA HA HA HA HA HA! I'll see you.
        Cologne : Where are you going?  I thought you came back to get your little fiancee!
        Ranma : I was just worried, that's all...
        Akane : Y-You were?
        Ranma : (looks sad)  Akane...
        Akane : Yes?
        Ranma : Don't poison him with your cooking.  He and I have a fight coming up.

First, there's the obvious -- From Akane, it's always "poor Ryoga"... and "Ranma, you jerk."  Secondly, Ranma just can't make up his mind, can he?

        ... (Manga -- "Fast Break")
        Genma : (remembering) Listen well, my son... The secret technique of the Saotome clan is founded upon the tenets of motion, contemplation, and opposition.
        Akane : In other words, running away to buy yourself time to think about how to attack your opponent...
        Genma : BINGO!!
        Akane : WHAT KIND OF TECHNIQUE IS THAT???!???!

Nice way to put it... Motion, contemplation, opposition -- very subtle.

        ... (Manga -- "Proposal accepted")
        <Real Satsuki-san reveals herself>
        Satsuki : W-Well, I was so looking forward to meeting my future husband... but... when the day finally came... I... I... (sobbing) I was just so embarrased!
        Sentaro : *sigh*  How demure and maidenly of you!
        Ranma : You thought it was LESS embarrassing to send a MONKEY in your place?!???!?

        ... (Manga -- 7:8)
        <Nabiki becomes first to beat Gambling King>
        Kasumi : Maybe he can't beat anyone who knows more than an elementary-school student...
        Akane : That would fit the facts...
        Soun : And what does that say about ME?!??!?
        Kasumi : Should I spell it out?
        Akane : (thinking) Throw in Ranma, too.

Boy, since when does Kasumi say stuff like that about her own dad?  But then, I guess she's only being honest... ^_^

        (TV dub -- Mark of the gods thing)
        Ryoga : (crying) Farewell, all.
        Akane : Wha--?  What's wrong with him?
        Akane : Ranma, What did you do to hi--?  Ranma?

That's perfect.  Ryoga's upset, so it's a safe assumption that Ranma did something to him.

Slayers/Slayers NEXT

        Amelia : You wouldn't by any chance be... You wouldn't...
        Gourry : Huh?
        Amelia : Do you... Do you work in a pet shop?
        Gourry : guh (faints)...  Now, WHAT makes you think I would work in a PET SHOP???!?!?
        Amelia : You should NEVER judge someone by appearances;  That would be very unjust!
        Gourry : So it's better to assume someone works in a pet shop for no reason...
        Amelia : Oh, does that mean you really ARE a swordsman?
        Gourry : Yeah.  I guess you could say that.
        Amelia : Oh, please, sir...  Would you consider joining me on my journey for which I would gladly pay you?
        Gourry : Well, we can talk about that later, but first answer me this...  What was all that jumpin' and hoppin' around all about?
        Amelia : Everyone knows THAT is the way WARRIORS OF JUSTICE CONQUER EVIL!!!!!!
        Gourry : aaaaaah...  See ya'

Damn girl's been reading too many [American] comic books!

        Randy : I'm tired of being third in line for the throne.  AND I'm tired of living in your overblown shadow, dear brother.
        Lina : "Brother"?  uuuuuuh... You don't... LOOK alike.  Is he...?
        Philionel : Hm.
        Lina : Huh.  These royal families just never seem to get along.

        Later on...

        Amelia : Hi, Daddy!  I finally FOUND you!!
        Lina : Did she say "Daddy" ???!?  But SHE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE YOU, EITHE-E-ER!!!

        Lina : Well, even someone as dense as you can picture what would happen if Little Miss Justice learned to cast the Dragon Slave!
        (Gourry imagines...)
        Man : Oh!!  I found a coin!!  (runs to get coin)
        Amelia : That's stealing!  And stealing is EVIL!  Come forth, my sure swift punishment -- DRAGON SLAVE!!
        Gourry : Yeah.  It's pretty scary.

I'd have to say that's a pretty well-founded fear...  (shudder)

        Lina : They're Copy Men.
        Gourry : Copy Men?
        Lina : Yeah, that same equipment we saw for making chimeras could also be used to make copies of people.  No wonder he never minded no matter how many times I killed him.
        Gourry : (worried look) So if someone wanted to, they could make dozens of you, Lina?
        Lina : Yeah...
        Gourry : (imagines dozens of Linas) guuuuuuh.... Oh, the HORROR!!!
        Amelia : It could mean the end of the world!!!
        Lina : Now hold it, you guys.

Dozens of Linas?  A swarm of locusts couldn't wipe out THAT much food.  To say nothing of kingdoms wiped out by Dragon Slave after Dragon Slave...

        <Philionel runs on the scene out of nowhere and runs towards Copy Rezo>
        Gourry : PRINCE PHILIONEL??!???
        Amelia : DADDY???
        Philionel : Villains who stand against justice...
        Gourry : Too bad... I was about ready for the show to end!
        Zelgadis : Well, they can't let these episodes be serious for TOO long.
        Philionel :
        Gourry : D-ooh, Phil...
        Zelgadis : Amelia, WHAT is your dad's problem??!?
        Amelia : Isn't Daddy COOL?!?!

Umm... How is it Gourry remembers his name?  As for Amelia, can we say "Elektra Complex?"

        Amelia : Oh, Daddy!!  You mean you were really that worried about me?
        Philionel : Of course, Amelia!  What father doesn't worry about his children?
        Gourry : Uuuuh.  WHO'S the delicate soul here?
        Amelia : (points at Gourry) Hey, that's mean, Mr. Gourry!
        Gourry : And pointing fingers is impolite.
        Amelia : guh...  (points at Zel) Oh, I almost forgot.  This creepy-looking guy is Zelgadis.
        Zelgadis : You're pointing...
        Amelia : (passes out)
        Philionel : I see, and where's Lina Inverse?  I don't see her here.
        Gourry : She's hurt.
        Zelgadis : She's being healed by Sylphiel.  It's all that monster's fault.
        Philionel : WHAAT??!??  That monster hurt LINA INVERSE???!??  It's really that POWERFUL???
        Gourry : Well, YEAH, but she's not THAT great!
        Zelgadis : Forget it...  At least he understands.

        SD Lina : Hey, Lina's hardly IN this episode.  What happened to Lina Inverse?  Give LINA some lines...  That's what you're thinking, right?  So for all of you in "Lina Withdrawal," here's Pritty Lina's Magic Lecture.
        Zelgadis : ... Everlasting flame of blue.  Let the power hidden in my soul be called forth here from the infinite.  RA-A-A-A TI-I-I-LT!!!!
        SD Lina : Okay, this "Ra Tilt" thing you saw Zelgadis use -- It's the strongest attack from the Astral Plane.  AND as powerful as the Dragon Slave....  Look ... At this point...  (Zooms in on Zel's hands)  When such a concentrated blast of energy hits the target, while it doesn't do anything to a human, it's devastating to a monster.  For monsters who have much larger Astral bodies than humans, it can be a violent end.
        Zelgadis : Remember kids -- This is dangerous, so don't try this at home!
        SD Lina and Gourry : BUT WHY NOT???!??

I love how this just came up at the first mention of Ra Tilt.  It's fundamental that Lina has to have lines in every episode.  Zel's funny with his "don't try this at home."  But why not, Zelgadis-sensei?

        Philionel : What are you talking about??!?  (Gourry and Zel cower)  You can't just give up like that!!
        Gourry : WE CA-AN'T??!???!???!??
        Philionel : So spells don't work.  So the Sword of Light doesn't work.  That's not the problem!  If we don't give up, we'll eventually find a solution!
        Amelia : He's right, you guys.  If we don't give up...  Justice will surely triumph!
        Zelgadis : That's great...  Just make a fist and say (eyes light up) -- ALL RIGHT!!  LET'S GO-O GET 'IM!!!  Is that what you were expecting?

We all LOVE Zel-chan for these little arguments w/ Amelia...

        (NEXT dub)
        Martina : Our only concern is  to take over the world.
        Amelia : Take over the world?
        Martina : Yes, and after we do, we'll sacrifice it to the Monstrous Zoamelgustar!
        King : Aaaaaaah!  Uh, Actually, I just want to use the army to take over the world!

Oh, so that makes it okay, huh?

        (NEXT dub)
        Amelia : For two former allies who once fought on the side of justice to now meet as bitter enemies ... How thoroughly dramatic!
        Zelgadis : What???  (sigh)  I don't need to remind you how powerful I am, Amelia.
        Amelia : (thinking) I can't possibly fight my former comrade.  But maybe if I appeal to Mr. Zelgadis as a friend, he'll see the light of justice and we won't be...
        (Amelia only now realizes that she's been tied up)
        Amelia : HEY!  When did THIS happen?
        Martina : Yay! Yay! Yay!
        Amelia : A clever plan, Mr. Zelgadis!  Using my love of justice as a part of of your psychological mind games to set me up into this trap!
        Zelgadis : Uuuuuuh...  I actually don't know what you're talking about.

The Zel-Amelia team comes through again.

        (NEXT dub)
        Martina : (meek whine) Father.
        King : Lina Inverse!  You mean the walking force of destruction?!!  The natural enemy of ALL who LIVE??!?!  The girl who leaves terror, and chaos in her wake?!???
        Lina : GIVE IT A REST!

Nice title to carry with your name.  Enemy of all who live...

        (NEXT dub)
        Amelia : Well, anyway.  I'm really impressed Mr. Zelgadis...  How did you manage to find that hideout all by yourself
        Zelgadis : Well I, uh... ahem...
        Lina : No kidding...  He just came flying in with all his cool poses and everything.  How DID you find the bandits' lair on your own.
        Zelgadis : Well, It was uh...  That is...
        Lina : Come on -- Tell us a-all about it.
        Zelgadis : (imitates Xellos) Well, now -- THAT... is a secret.  He-he.

Does Zel just keep on getting less serious or is it just me?

        (NEXT dub)
        <meeting between Tarimu's and Demea's bodyguards... except...>
        Lina and Amelia : What are YOU TWO doing here???!?!???!
        Gourry : So Demea's bodyguards -- the 'heartless mystical swordsman and the crazy girl' are...
        Zelgadis : Tarimu's bodyguards -- 'a smart-ass sorceress and an idiot swordsman'...
        Lina : Hey, what do you mean by that?  Are you saying I'm a smart-ass???!?
        Amelia : Yeah, and I'm a crazy girl?  What's THAT all about?
        Gourry : And I'm the 'idiot swordsman'?
        Zelgadis : 'A heartless mystical swordsman'...  Hmm...
        Lina : Hold it.  You actually LIKE that description, don't you?

        (NEXT dub)
        <Halcyform makes his first appearance -- dressed in white...>
        Amelia : Wait everybody, this man is surely an impostor.
        All : Huh?
        Amelia : Everyone knows that those who stand against justice always dress in black.
        (Zel bonks her on the head)
        Zelgadis : Oh, I'm sorry.  Please continue...

        (NEXT dub)
        <hiding from Halcyform and his monster pal>
        Amelia : We can't just hide here, Mr. Zelgadis.
        Zelgadis : And how do you propose we fight them?
        Amelia : With a heart filled with courage and a love for justice!
        Zelgadis : I had to ask.
        Amelia : A heart that loves justice will burn like fire.
        Zelgadis : That should help a lot.
        Amelia : The fire of justice will burn your enemies to death, naturally.
        Zelgadis : Now, LOOK!

Zel and Amelia should always be together like that.  It makes for a great show.

We can't forget about the SPELLS, now can we???!??  Those are always memorable.


    "Source of all Power,
     Crimson fire burning bright...
     Let thy power gather within my hand --
     FIREBALL!"    ... Also same incantation for "Flare Arrow"

        Seen from Lina Inverse, Zolf, Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun, Zelgadis Greywords, Sylphiel Nels Rada, Halcyform, Demea's Bodyguard, & That Aborigine guy from the Mafia army.

Dragon Slave

    "Darkness beyond twilight,
     Crimson beyond blood that flows.
     Buried in the stream of time
     Is where your power grows.
     I pledge myself to conquer
     All the foes who stand
     Before the mighty gift bestowed
     In my unworthy hands.
     Let all the fools who stand before me be destroyed
     By the power you and I possess.
     DRAGON SLAVE"   ... Always a leeeetle different every time, though.

        Seen from Lina Inverse, Zolf, & Sylphiel Nels Rada.

Dragon Slave (Jap version)

    "Darkness beyond twilight,
     Crimson beyond blood that flows.
     Buried in the stream of time...
     In thy great name, I pledge myself to darkness.
     Let the fools who stand before me be destroyed
     By the power you and I possess.

Dragon Slave (Slayers Special)

    "Heed me now, thou who is darker than dusk.
     Heed, thou which is more red than blood.
     In the name of that which has been buried
     in the bottomless abyss of time eternal,
     I summon thee, Master of the Ultimate Darkness!
     Have no pity on the fools who stand in our way!
     Infuse me with power -- Let your strength become mine!
     To wipe them from the face of this Earth;
     To deliver unto them the ultimate doom...

Ra Tilt

    "Source of all souls,
     Which dwells in the eternal and the infinite.
     Everlasting flame of blue...
     Let the power hidden within my soul
     Be called forth here from the infinite.
     RA TILT"

        Seen from Zelgadis Greywords, & Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun.

Elmekia Flame

     Gather within me and become a flash!
     Smash the abysmal darkness apart.

        Seen from Lina Inverse, Zelgadis Greywords, Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun, & Rowdy Gabriev.

Megiddo Flare

    "You who are not of this world...
     Pitiful, twisted creatures.
     By the light of the purity I possess,
     I bid thee, be gone
     To the nexus of our two worlds.

        Seen from Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun, & Zelgadis Greywords.


    "Darkness beyond blackest pitch,
     Deeper than the deepest night.
     King of darkness who shines like gold
     Upon the sea of chaos.
     I call upon thee,
     Swear myself to thee...
     Let the fools who stand before me be destroyed
     By the power you and I possess.

        Seen from Lina Inverse.

Dynast Breath

    "Supreme King with the frozen soul,
     Grant me the power of your icy rage...

        Seen from Zelgadis Greywords.